Updated: Dec 19, 2020
Staying positive is difficult in “normal” times. Throw in a pandemic with rising numbers, desperation for a mask free era, and staying positive becomes a giant challenge.
You are not alone in the struggle to keep your chin up. It is true that we are all in this together. We are all experiencing challenges of some kind, routinely now. To start, recognize that someone else shares in your worries and your difficult moments. Know that staying positive is hard for all of us. Some of us are better at it than others. Some of us are actively working on it. The rest of us have not discovered how to begin and feeling down has become the new norm.
Often, we are quick to judge our own negative thoughts. We feel they are icky and just need to go. Some negative thoughts do need to be recognized and tended to first, before they can shift away allowing room for the positive. Our negative thoughts don’t always change entirely into a positive thought even with the most powerful of mindset practice. Some negative thoughts simply need a positive thought as a partner. Pair your darkness with light and you can find some balance. No, I am not a spiritual coach, but balance matters. Recognizing our feelings and beliefs matters, too. We can feel sad, mad, defeated etc. and in control at the same time. We are all a work in progress, and that’s ok.
So, you’re ready to ditch the negativity?
Much about grabbing onto a positive shift has to do with developing a new belief system. I’ve been practicing this for years. In fact, I used to have a boss who’d let everything get to him, yet he admired my positive attitude. He even made fun of me for it. I took it as a compliment. I am fairly certain now that his amusement of my positive ways was partly due to jealousy. He could not find that good attitude for himself, mostly because he was stuck in a pattern. We all do it. Often, it looks like this: Something goes wrong, we think about how much it sucks, then we choose to endure it until something distracts us just enough, or it fades away (under the rug). Sound familiar? The mistake is in the decision to endure it. We don’t have to do that! It’s a choice we make out of habit. It’s easier to feel sorry for ourselves, yet sometimes it takes more of our energy. Anger and negativity can truly drain us. It can make us feel physically tired or even sick. Statistics prove that a positive attitude is good for our health. Negativity also messes with our relationships and causes problems that do not need to be problems, right? Why do we do this to ourselves? Whatever is going on in the world, you can smile and lift yourself back up.
So how do we do it?
How do we shift into a positive mindset even when there’s a metaphorical dumpster fire going on? First, believe it’s possible. Trust yourself and maintain awareness. If you recognize what’s happening in your mood, in your mind and in your behavior, you can alter it all. You’re in charge of yourself. You have more power than you typically give yourself credit for, I promise. We are all guilty of it. And do you know what happens when we give into the stress, overwhelm, and negative attitude? We are not pleasant, we are not problem solvers, and we are full of excuses.
Let's change that.
Feeling positive is not always easy, but here are some ways to help us think more positively:
· Make a mental or even written list of all your blessings or good fortunes.
· Make a mental or written list of all the people who love and support you.
· Don’t pass judgement on others, you don’t know the whole story.
· Pick your battles. Seriously, is forgetting to close the lid that big of a deal?
· Be quick to apologize and own your part.
· Don’t fear or run from conflict. Buck up and get it out there and be done with it.
· Don’t expect to change others; that’s up to them. Offer support.
· Be a safe place for others.
· Forgive. What purpose does it serve you to hold on? Let it go.
· Perspective check question: Will this matter in 5 minutes or in one year?
· Change YOUR attitude. Decide how you’d rather feel and choose to feel it.
· If you attitude sucks, don’t bring others down with you. Instead, ask for support.
· Let love in. If someone wants to be there for you, let them.
· Speak up if you’re feeling so negative that you’re struggling to pull out of it.
· Make a plan. How can you fix this? What can you do to feel better?
· DANCE, it has proven to make one smile.
· Watch, say or do something silly. Even if the negative heaviness goes away for only a moment, it’s a mental break and hopefully a reset.
· CHANGE directions. If you are doing one thing and still are not feeling better, try something else!
· Ask yourself these questions: Is this really my problem or am I making it my problem?
Can I solve this problem?
Does it serve me to dwell on it?
Does it serve others to dwell on it?
· Focus on a task.
· Do something kind for others. You’ll feel good about it, too.
· Do something, anything, that makes you happy.
· What can you control? YOU.
· Is your best enough? YES.
· Deep breathing
· Remind yourself that you are ok and believe that you will be.
No one is perfect, but we are capable.
You are capable of rising above and finding the good in any situation. Change the pattern and believe in something better. Change your train of thought. Change your scenery, even if it’s to the next room or only in your mind. You have the power to make a shift from staying negative to becoming positive. And don’t do it alone. Bring a friend. Ask for support. Find some love and give love in return. Remember how loved you are no matter what. You can get through this, whatever “this” is for you. Find gratitude. Nothing is forever. That means the darkness, too, won’t last.
If you set your intentions to get through it, you will. Imagine a beautiful outcome, a goal achieved, a new beginning. Teach yourself a better way. It’s healthier for you and others to work towards a more positive mindset. Yes, you can.
Would you like support?
Please reach out for your complimentary discovery call with Ashley should you be curious about life coaching. There is no shame in personal growth and awareness. It’s beneficial and we all need it. Even coaches have coaches.